You’re wishy-washy
Nothing irks people more than someone who is indecisive. Your rewarding relationship gets snatched away the instant you start going hot and cold on your loved one. “People don’t like breakups,” says Dr Leder-Elder. “They don’t like being alone. We want social connections.” This way of thinking turns into signs of a toxic relationship when you end up stringing someone along when you’re not ready for a relationship but still want companionship. Make sure you’re honest with your partner in the beginning about your uncertainties in regards to your wants and needs from the relationship. That way they’ll know what they’re getting themselves into.
Your friends and family cause problems
Believe it or not, your intimate social network may be ruining your relationship and it could lead to it becoming a toxic one. “If you have a lot of people in your head saying, ‘They’re not right for you. You could do better,’ it could turn you against the relationship because you can’t deal with the constant strife with the people that you care about,” says Dr Leder-Elder. In an attempt to resolve this tension, try organising a get-together to allow your lover and your loved ones to get acquainted. If all else fails, you may have to resort to an ultimatum: your family or your partner. But Dr Leder-Elder says that can be a tough decision and is only best to debate in long-term relationships you’re 100 percent sure about, in case you choose love over blood.
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You avoid conflict like the plague
Life is full of ups and downs, as are relationships, so you need to face the fact that not everything is always rainbows and butterflies. “People think they’re doing a good thing [by avoiding conflict] but they’re actually making themselves appear quite dangerous,” says Dr Tatkin. “It makes your partner nuts because they can’t engage unless it’s positive.” The trick to stopping signs of a toxic relationship is to put your own discomforts aside for your partner and communicate your unease toward the situation, while still showing that you’re there for support and a listening ear.