Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

They always take things literally.

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A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me..."

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me..."
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Diddly-squats.

Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?

Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Because you should never drink and derive.

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

A receding hare-line.

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

It’s two gross.

What did the Tin Man say...

What did the Tin Man say...
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

“Curses! Foil again!”

What did the bald man exclaim...

What did the bald man exclaim...
Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com

Thanks – I’ll never part with it!

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