34 things your airline pilot won’t tell you

[In the United States], the Department of Transportation has put such an emphasis on on-time performance that we pretty much aren’t allowed to delay a flight anymore, even if there are 20 people on a connecting flight that’s coming in just a little late. – Commercial pilot from North Carolina.

No, it’s not your imagination: airlines really have adjusted their flight arrival times so they can have a better record of on-time arrivals. So they might say a flight takes two hours when it really takes an hour and 45 minutes. – AirTran Airways captain, US.

I’m constantly under pressure to carry less fuel than I’m comfortable with. Airlines are always looking at the bottom line, and you burn fuel carrying fuel. Sometimes if you carry just enough fuel and you hit thunderstorms or delays, then suddenly you’re running out of gas and you have to go to an alternate airport. – Captain at a major US airline.

You’ll never hear “One of our engines just failed.” What they’ll say instead: “One of our engines is indicating improperly.” (Or more likely, they’ll say nothing, and you’ll never know the difference. Most planes fly fine with one engine down.) You’ll also never hear, “Well, folks, the visibility out there is zero.” Instead they’ll say: “There’s some fog in the area.” – Patrick Smith.

It’s called crashing into the ocean. – Airplane pilot, South Carolina, USA. Check out this real-life tale of two pilots who did indeed crash into the sea and lived to tell the tale.

Our work rules allow us to be on duty 16 hours without a break. That’s many more hours than a truck driver. And unlike a truck driver, who can pull over at the next rest stop, we can’t pull over at the next cloud. – Captain at a major US airline.

Sometimes the airline won’t give us lunchbreaks or even time to eat. We have to delay flights just so we can get food. – First officer on a US regional carrier.

Most people get sick after travelling not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch. Always assume that the tray table and the button to push the seat back have not been wiped down, though we do wipe down the lavatory. – Patrick Smith. While you’re at it. can you guess what’s the biggest germ culprit at the airport?

It’s one thing if the pilot puts the seat belt sign on for the passengers, but if he tells the flight attendants to sit down, you’d better listen. That means there’s some serious turbulence ahead. – John Greaves airline accident lawyer and former airline captain, Los Angeles.

People always ask, “What’s the scariest thing that’s ever happened to you?” I tell them it was a van ride from the Los Angeles airport to the hotel, and I’m not kidding. – Jack Stephan, US pilot. Could it be because of the rising incidences of road rage?