13 goal-setting tips from mental health experts

“I have found that community and accountability to others works best for me. I have wanted to increase my physical activity for the past year and couldn’t find something that would stick. After hearing friends rave about using and loving their Peloton bikes, I ordered one and joined a Facebook group called Black Girl Magic, the Peloton Edition that is for black women who use the bike, treadmill, or app and it has made all the difference. Seeing others sharing what time they will ride and inviting others to join or taking part in challenges set up by the group has really been helpful for me. If you’re someone who knows that you thrive more with a sense of community, either finding or starting a group to support your goal could be key.” —Joy Harden Bradford, PhD, licensed psychologist and founder of Therapy for Black Girls @therapyforblackgirls

“Mindset is the biggest hurdle to achieving goals. Often, we talk ourselves out of following through with goals because we are operating with an ‘I can’t’ mindset. Be intentional about the way you describe what you want to change and how you plan to change. Use affirming language such as, ‘I am_____,’ instead of, ‘I would like_____,’ or ‘I will try_____.’ And remember that it’s essential to establish new routines associated with your goal. For instance, if you want to exercise more, decide on a day and time to exercise. Put your gym bag in a place where you will see it as a way to prompt yourself to honour your commitment. If you want to eat healthier, make healthy choices by always packing a lunch, removing food delivery apps from your phone, or asking yourself, ‘how does this behaviour align with my goal?’ Goals are great, but without real behavioural changes, we won’t achieve them.” — Nedra Tawwab, licensed clinical social worker, Charlotte @nedratawwab

“Set goals that help you feel more like your authentic self, not a version of you that society has made you feel like you need to achieve. Ask yourself what your inner child needs or what your younger self needed but didn’t get. Make those your goals. We heal when we show up for our younger selves. My goals, for instance, centre around feeling powerful, being embodied and being happy. So that can mean eating well and moving my body, but with the intention of feeling good, not being thin. I stick to them because I get the benefits of being able to live inside myself, feeling at home, versus dieting and unfun exercise that makes me dissociate and leave myself.” —Andrea Glik, licensed marriage and family therapist @somaticwitch

“What helps me stick to my goals is breaking them down to small, manageable tasks – and doing so with compassion and kindness. The 20 minutes of working out (I really don’t like working out) is better than the hour I will never do. The three glasses of water I drink per day (I always forget to drink water) is better than the eight I may not drink then feel bad about. When we set ourselves up for small successes, we get more inspired and motivated. Most often people have self-limiting beliefs that make it difficult for them to begin and maintain the steps necessary for change. Those beliefs are the result of past hurtful experiences and messages learned along the way. They end up becoming barriers to our dreams and goals. So exploring them in therapy can be very helpful. Progress is more about letting go of our limitations, negative beliefs and past traumas.” —Anna Aslanian, LMFT, psychotherapist, trauma and relationship specialist @mytherapycorner

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Source: RD.com