36 secrets your hair stylist won’t tell you

If you think I’m applying what you had before, you’re much less likely to complain.

But please don’t show up with hair that’s greasy, tangled, or smelly. Wash it the night before, and don’t put any styling products in it. That way, we hairdressers can start fresh and create our own texture.

We know what’s going on: a lice infestation. But when we point out the nits and tell the mum we can’t do the cut, she always acts surprised and says, “I didn’t know.” We’re thinking, Yeah, right. To save the embarrassment for all involved, get the situation under control before your appointment.

When we’re trying to make you feel pampered, we can’t use the same word you use for doing dishes. One of the secrets to great hair according to pros is a cold rinse after shampooing.

I can give you Gisele Bündchen’s haircut, but I can’t give you her face.

If you’re running late, please call ahead. Show me some basic respect. This is a business, not fun and games.

My work takes time. When a client says she’s in a rush, I tell her she needs to schedule her time better. If I’m already booked, I’d be taking time and effort away from other clients. You wouldn’t like being treated that way. A rush job never looks good.

Hairdresser school does not teach about counter transference, projection, negative reinforcement, or personality disorders. If you’re looking for a therapist, all I have is a tail comb and an opinion.

Some women think that if they keep their hair all one length the way it was in high school, everyone will think they’re still in high school. Guess what? You’re not. As you get older, you need to soften the lines around your face.

If your hair is dry, listless, or brittle, or if it’s not holding your colour or style the way it used to, see a doctor. If your hair isn’t overprocessed, you could be pregnant (surprise!) or menopausal (yes, I can tell).

Learn how to cope with female hair loss.