These remarks will settle your nerves as you buckle up and prepare for take-off
The mandatory safety speech before your plane takes off can be tedious, causing passengers to tune it out– and some smart, funny airline employees have caught on. So they’ve thrown sarcastic, frank, and just plain hilarious comments into their pre- and post-flight announcements. Collected from Mitchell Symons’ book The Weird World of Words as well as various Internet accounts, here are some of our favourite in-flight funnies.
“Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”
Okay, sure, seat belts are pretty intuitive, but the belts on planes are not exactly like the ones in cars! Cut the passengers some slack. Or, rather, let it out by pulling on the buckle.
“People, people, we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”
Plane passengers do seem to take choosing a seat very seriously. And while there are some known best airplane seats for every need, there’s no need to act like your airplane seat choice is a major life decision.