You speak but don’t communicate
Your communication doesn’t have to be meaningful day in and day out. But it’s troubling – and possibly one of the signs of divorce – if you never talk with your spouse about anything besides the weather or who needs to get more milk. “It’s a bad sign when speaking to each other seems superficial,” says psychotherapist, Marni Feuerman. “If you keep the day-to-day stuff inside, it creates distance and disconnection in your marriage,” says Feureman. That can make you feel less affection and fondness for your partner. The same goes if it’s one person doing all the talking and the other doing all the listening. “Remember, good communication is not just about speaking up on behalf of yourself,” says Francesca Di Meglio, the former Newlyweds Expert for About.com. “It’s also about listening to – and really hearing – your spouse.”
You disagree about whether to have kids
You likely discussed the topic of having children before you got hitched, but feelings may change. Maybe you feel kids will get in the way of your career or your spouse wants to give up trying after fertility issues have made starting or adding to a family difficult. Di Meglio suggests putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Figure out why he or she doesn’t want a baby and what’s motivating the argument. Persuasion isn’t the answer either. It’s unfair if you’re trying to talk someone into or out of a desire to have kids, says marriage consultant, Lesli M. W. Doares. “Parenting is hard enough when both people are on board,” Doares says. “Being talked into it will only create resentment.”
You’re spending less and less time together
You don’t have to be attached at the hip 24/7. But you should want to spend your free time with one another and enjoy being with your partner more than anyone else (most of the time). It’s perfectly fine to binge-watch a television show, surf the Internet on your phone, get lost in a book, work late, or socialise without your spouse. But consider if you’re using these activities as a distraction – to the point that it feels like a relief not to be together – from dealing with any issues in your marriage, one of the signs of divorce. “Creating regular time to be together as a couple and doing things that are fun is critical for a lasting, successful marriage,” says Doares.