18 hilariously good comebacks you’ll wish you knew before

“I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you” is another great one to keep in your pocket when someone is being willfully ignorant. Talk about a double whammy!

Take a page from Don Draper’s book. In an episode of Mad Men, an adversarial colleague tells Don, “I feel bad for you.” To which Don cooly replies, “I don’t think about you at all.” Ouch. I guess that’s why they’re so mad.

Check out these funny palindrome sentences that will crack you up.

When a big-time lawyer rolls up on Erin Brockovich and blatantly challenges Brockovich’s knowledge and abilities, Julia Roberts’ character is quick to set her straight. The lawyer tries to save face with “I think we got off on the wrong foot here,” and Brockovich quickly counters with “That’s all you got lady, two wrong feet and ugly shoes.” Save it for the next time someone is rude to you and tries to cry “wrong foot.”

Remember when Captain Jack Sparrow, under threat of capture and arrest, takes a moment to deliver a devastating zinger? His arresting officer claims “You are without a doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of.” “Ah,” replies Sparrow, “But you have heard of me.” There is no comeback like one that tosses your opponent’s words back at them!

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“I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying,” is an annihilating one-two punch. An atom bomb you can just drop and walk away from.

“I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.” There is no greater punisher than objectivity sometimes.

“Your face is fine but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.” We would disintegrate on the spot if someone said this to us. This one is even better if you have a real bag to use as a prop.

Don’t miss these compliments you didn’t realise are actually pretty insulting.

“Don’t worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.” And then watch this person’s eyebrows bounce up in alarm. This one is total warfare – only use if peace is not an option.

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Source: RD.com