Our sex life is changing
With life comes changes like illness, disability, ageing, weight differences, and more. You may need to modify your sex life to go with your new normal. “You and your partner need to learn to adapt and grow as you go through life changes, creating new excitement and renewing energy,” says Tessina. “Tools, sex toys, lubricants, videos, and other aids can help you and your partner enhance your sexual connection and explore new options. Do whatever you can to keep your physical connection alive.”
We’ve lost our passion
“Turning the heat back on takes an understanding of why the flames went out,” says Dr Tom Murray, a marriage and family therapist. “A big reason for wildfires at the beginning of a relationship is the context; not much was known between you and everything was a mystery.” Now, everyday life stressors like jobs, kids and a mortgage change everything, he says. “Change the context and reignite the flames,” he says. He suggests communicating more, putting your phones down, and getting the TV out of the bedroom.
I have no desire to get frisky
When you have little or low drive for sex, trying going back to the basics. “Couples should broaden their definition of sex to include activity other than intercourse,” says clinical social worker, Mindy Utay. “It can be any physical contact between partners done lovingly and tenderly.” She suggests holding hands, stroking one another, kissing, or just being in each other’s arms. “It takes the pressure off the act of sex and reimagines it,” says Utay. “This often opens the door to more physical contact and a gradual reconnection through physicality and eroticism.”