The Christmas rush is on, with people buzzing around purchasing gifts, seeing family and friends, and planning a joy-filled annual catch up.
But for many, this time of year can be difficult. Holiday traditions tend to revolve around family and sometimes those relationships can bring their own challenges. It may be tempting to want to hit the fast forward button and skip through Christmas altogether.
The festive season can be isolating for some people, but if you are also navigating emotions like grief it can feel overwhelming and be a harsh reminder of what has been lost, whether in recent times or even years ago.
There’s an expectation from society that Christmas should be about having fun and being happy, yet if you’re grieving you may be feeling the weight of heavy emotions. It’s also hard for friends and family who want to help, but who may feel awkward and be unsure of what to say.
Planning ahead can help make this holiday season feel more bearable. Start by setting specific boundaries on what you are prepared to do (or not do) this holiday season. What you will attend or not attend, and what feels right for you, right now.
Acknowledge your grief and make space for it. All emotions and feelings are valid at this time of the year. Practice gentle self-compassion and don’t be tempted to over-commit to activities and events. Instead, take pressure off by setting realistic expectations that allow you the time and space to ride the waves of emotion as they appear.
It’s also okay to re-evaluate your holiday traditions. Maybe consider adapting existing traditions and adding new and comforting rituals that are meaningful at this time. This doesn’t have to represent permanent change, adapting this year’s plans for this year’s emotions makes perfect sense.
If it feels right, take time to commemorate. Fondly remember loved ones through activities such as lighting a special candle, playing their favourite song, creating a memorial ornament, cooking a much-loved family recipe or creating a memory box of photos and stories.
Most importantly, remember that you are not alone. Reach out for assistance whenever you need it by connecting regularly with trusted friends and family, and consider getting some professional grief support as you navigate the holidays.
As the rest of us rush toward the end of the year, let’s pause for a moment to think of others who may have an empty seat at the Christmas table. If you know someone who might be grieving these holidays, reach out regularly and check in. A call or even a text message can help people feel more seen and can make all the difference as they navigate this holiday season.
This article was written by Bare Counsellor Carolyn Ganzevoort, who is an experienced bereavement professional.
Image credits: Shutterstock
