Wish you had a secret decoder guide to cat language and behaviour?
Here’s a primer to things your cat wishes you understood.
Please do not disturb my nap on your laptop or keyboard
You people talk and talk about how much you need to work on the computer so you wake us up and push us off, but we know what you’re really planning to do on them: watch videos of cats. Weird. Don’t you humans realise that cats must get an average of 12 to 16 hours of shut-eye a day, or we’re just useless? Also, our delicate cat bodies need the warmth from your computer: our ideal temperature is six degrees higher than that of you humans.
Quit taking photos of me (I’m not a Kardashian)
You humans can’t seem to stop snapping pics with your phones when you’re around us, but you resort to sneaky tactics like waving around fun toys to get our attention but dropping them as soon as we turn around. This is cruel. If we cats are willing to let you capture us on film, the least you can do is provide us with a bit of play time in exchange – or let a cartoon cat amuse you instead. There is one thing that you don’t have to worry about when it comes to photography: camera flashes do not harm cats’ eyes. But they will frequently produce a spooky glow caused by the tapetum lucidum, a layer of ultra-reflective cells in feline eyes which helps us see in low light.