Breaking up is hard to do
Breakups hurt, and they can take more time than most of us would like to admit to get over. While there’s nothing wrong with taking all the time you need to heal, there is a myriad of things you should not do while on that road to healing, according to relationship experts. “Because of the swirling of emotions and intensity of them, it is critical to react to the breakup in purposeful and healthy ways,” notes marriage and family therapist, Dr Juliana Morris. “Avoid unhealthy coping skills, as even though they may bring temporary relief and release, it will not be permanent and often adds new problems to the emotional roller coaster you are on.” Here’s a look at the things you should never do to get over a breakup.
Don’t beg for another chance
Of course, you miss your ex and may still be in shock about the breakup, but getting over a breakup means not pleading for a do-over. “If you feel compelled to do so, examine your motivation,” says psychotherapist, Jonathan Alpert. “Do you miss your ex specifically, or do you miss the idea of having a partner? The two are very different,” he adds.
Don’t call or text
Any contact with your ex reinforces and strengthens your attachment, and impedes your recovery, according to dating coach and author of Exaholics, Dr Lisa Marie Bobby. “An important step in healing is to remove your ex from your physical and digital world,” she says. Aim to go at least 30 days without contacting your ex if you want to start getting over a breakup. Thirty days will become 40, then 50… and by then, chances are you’ll be feeling much better and have some additional clarity.