Gender can throw birth order traits off
Another reason you might not display the typical traits of your birth order is what sex you are. “Culture and family tradition come into this a lot,” Wallace says. “If a boy is valued more, for example, a second-born who’s a boy might be elevated in some cultures. He might be the one to go to college, not the firstborn girl.” Or the opposite may occur – a recent UK study found that firstborn girls are more ambitious, with 13 per cent more likely to aspire to attend graduate school than firstborn boys. Also, the first girl in the family might be expected to help with care-taking of younger siblings instead of an older brother. “The expectation on the firstborn girl to take over her mum’s burdens in a lot of cultures is there,” she says. The family dynamic of how many girls and how many boys also factors in, Wallace says – if you are the only boy among many girls, or vice versa, you may get special treatment by your parents, but you may be neglected by your siblings who identify with each other more than with you.
Your parents’ birth order affects yours, too
The final piece of the puzzle reflects how birth order has a cumulative effect among generations. “In my book I wrote a chapter on your own birth order [as a parent] – how if you were a firstborn you might identify with your firstborn more and be more supportive,” Wallace says. It might even be subconscious – you might unwillingly “become your mother” because that’s the model you have. “You might either emulate your experience growing up or you may try to correct it if you felt too pressured,” Wallace says. “We tend to gravitate to how we were raised, but we also try to correct it – so it’s hard to know what wins out.”
Sign up here to get Reader’s Digest’s favourite stories straight to your inbox!
Source: RD.com
