True Stories & Lifestyle Advice ⁄  Humour

23 ‘Harry Potter’ jokes and puns every muggle should know

How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron? These Harry Potter jokes and puns are perfect for Harry Potter fanatics, wizards and muggles alike.
By Brandon Specktor

A Muggle walks into the Hog’s Head Inn...

A Muggle walks into the Hog’s Head Inn...
ONDREJ PROSICKY/SHUTTERSTOCK

…with a frog on his shoulder. The barkeep says, “That’s pretty cool, where’d you get it?”

“London,” the frog croaks. “They’ve got millions of ‘em!”

Advertisement

Q. What do you call a wizard with his hand in a thestral’s mouth?

Q. What do you call a wizard with his hand in a thestral’s mouth?
PEMASTOCKPIC/SHUTTERSTOCK

A. A mechanic.

Q. Why does Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?

Q. Why does Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?
ZOLTAN MAJOR/SHUTTERSTOCK

A. So you’ll never know which side he’s on.

Chapter Three: Harry Potter and the Puns That Were Too Bad to List at the Top of This Page

Chapter Three: Harry Potter and the Puns That Were Too Bad to List at the Top of This Page
MIKELEDRAY/SHUTTERSTOCK

Madam Hooch walks into a pub. The barkeep says, “Hey, we have booze named after you!”

Hooch beams. “You have a drink named Rolanda?”

Q. Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between the pot he uses to make potions and his best friend?

Q. Why can't Harry Potter tell the difference between the pot he uses to make potions and his best friend?
ANDREI MAYATNIK/SHUTTERSTOCK

A. They’re both cauld ron.

Q. Which side of a centaur has more hair?

Q. Which side of a centaur has more hair?
REFLECTEDLIGHT/SHUTTERSTOCK

A. The outside.

Q. Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?

Q. Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?
DMYTRO ZINKEVYCH/SHUTTERSTOCK

A. Because she gives him hugs and hisses.

Fans of these punny Harry Potter jokes will love these corny jokes to give everyone a laugh.

Q. Why does Neville always use two toilet stalls?

Q. Why does Neville always use two toilet stalls?
PONGSATORN SINGNOY/SHUTTERSTOCK

A. Because he has a Longbottom.

Q. What do you call two Quidditch players who share a dorm?

Q. What do you call two Quidditch players who share a dorm?
TANTIPWAN/SHUTTERSTOCK

A. Broom-mates.

Q. How do you get a mythical creature into your house?

Q. How do you get a mythical creature into your house?
WERNERIMAGES 2018/SHUTTERSTOCK

A. Through the Gryffindor. This Harry Potter pun will make any Slytherin smile.

Never miss a deal again - sign up now!

SIGN UP NOW

Connect with us: