23 ‘Harry Potter’ jokes and puns every muggle should know

Professor Quirrell walks into a bar, unwraps his turban, and presents the Dark Lord’s face to the barman. The Dark Lord orders a beer.

“Sorry, can’t serve you,” the barman says. “You’re already out of your head.”

A. Just one. He puts his wand in the cauldron and the world revolves around him.

A. Because he only has followers, not friends.

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A. Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

A. Up his sleeve-y!

A. Because he can’t control his pupils.

Who’s there?

You know.

You know who?

Exactly. AVADA KEDAVRA!

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The barman says, “We don’t serve time-travellers here.”

Hermione walks into a pub with a Time-Turner.

…and orders a Forgetfulness Potion. He turns to the witch next to him and says, “So, do I come here often?”

The first one says, “Sure is hot in here.”

The second one snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”