Tickled to death
Gosh, people really do just stop in their tracks to be quietly amazed and entertained by the people they love, and then file that image away to later craft into funny obituaries and eulogies capable of bringing down the house. Some of these are so pithy they should be written in stone (and some of them were – to make the funniest tombstones that actually exist).
“It pains me to admit it, but apparently I have passed away.”
“Everyone told me it would happen one day, but that’s simply not something I wanted to hear, much less experience,” Emily DeBrayda Phillips goes on to explain. Emily DeBrayda Phillips’ obituary is hilariously self-written and self-aware about her existence and end: “If you want to, you can look for me in the evening sunset or with the earliest spring daffodils or among the flitting and fluttering butterflies. You know I’ll be there in one form or another. Of course, that will probably be comfort to some while antagonising others, but you know me…it’s what I do.” She concludes with simple instructions: “If you don’t believe it, just ask me. Oh wait, I’m afraid it’s too late for questions. Sorry.”
“Her last words were ‘tell them that check is in the mail.’”
Jean Larroux III and Hayden Hoffman decided to honour their mother, notable Waffle House patron (and library fine-avoider) Antonia “Toni” Larroux, with an obituary that reads like a standup set. “We started to write a normal [obituary],” Larroux III told HuffPost, before realising “mum would be so ashamed.” Some of its greatest hits include, “She conquered polio as a child, contributing to the nickname ‘polio legs,’ given by her ex-husband. It should not be difficult to imagine the reasons for their divorce 35+ years ago,” and, “She considered Aaron Burrell a distant grandson (not distant enough).” However, the siblings rounded out the seemingly blithe memorial with a rather moving annotation: “On a last but serious note, the woman who loved her life and taught her children to ‘laugh at the days to come’ is now safely in the arms of Jesus and dancing at the wedding feast of the Lamb. Anyone wearing black will not be admitted to the memorial. She is not dead. She is alive.” Who is cutting onions in here?
She sounds like the kind of person who would love the funniest Amazon reviews of all time.