Ouch! Cramped knees on a plane

Ouch! Cramped knees on a plane
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Q: On a recent flight, the person in front of me reclined his seat, hurting my knees. I was afraid to ask him to inch it forward. What can I do next time? Must I suffer?

A: Not long ago, I was on a flight when the fellow in front of me lurched his seat back. He didn’t look. He didn’t think. And he knocked my wine all over the seat tray (and me). I wasn’t on my best behaviour when I gave his seat a kick and shouted, “Pay attention. You’re not the only one cramped on this flight.” (To his credit, he apologised profusely.) If I had been given a do-over, I would have tapped him on the shoulder and said nicely, “You probably don’t realise it, but you knocked over my wineglass when you reclined. Could you move your seat forward?”

But part of my upset was spot-on. Pay attention! Before you recline, take notice of who’s behind you. Is it someone with an injury or who is really tall or perhaps overweight? Is it a parent with a lap baby? If so, don’t recline. (And don’t recline during meals.) If the extra few centimetres you get by reclining is really worth bothering the person behind you, at least give fair warning that you’re about to crush her knees or spill his drink.

Here are 7 real-world situations to gauge how good your manners are. 

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Regifting rules

Regifting rules
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Q: Over the years, I’ve been given a lot of useless stuff: a clunky mug, a peace-sign cookie mould, an expensive photography book still wrapped in plastic. Can I regift?

A: Yes, but be careful. Last Christmas, I regifted a holiday bouquet decked out with a unique, festive ribbon. Hours later, it appeared on Facebook, with a public thanks to me. That was a new faux pas! As a power regifter – with a “regifting” shelf in a closet – I start by removing the tags and unwrapping the gift to make sure there’s no hidden card or inscription. Then I label each with a sticky note as a reminder of who gave it to me. I also try to be thoughtful; I’m not going to give a wool scarf to a relative in Florida. But I would give that cookie mould to a baker friend.

Am I being cheap?

Am I being cheap?
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Q: I don’t drink, and I’m tired of paying for my friends’ cocktails. When we split the check equally, I’m left having to chip in more than my share. I don’t want to offend anyone – or appear cheap – but I don’t want to pay for their drinks. How do I do that?

A: Nobody should have to pay for expensive manhattans or martinis they didn’t drink. That’s not being cheap; it’s being fair. Because some of my dining companions don’t drink, I’ll take the bill as soon as it’s placed on the table and calculate my own tab (including any manhattans I drank, plus a healthy tip). I really appreciate friends who take care of their friends and say something like, “So-and-so didn’t drink any of the wine, so let’s exclude that from his share.” Nice!

You could also ask your server for a separate check before you order (if that’s the restaurant’s policy). If you’re feeling tech-savvy, you can use one of the many new tab-splitting apps, such as Splitwise and Settle Up. I especially like Splitwise because it’s so easy. Download it to your phone, then add your friends. When you get the bill, enter each item and note whether it’s to be “paid by you” or “split equally.” The app does the rest, including tax and tip. Tech in the service of manners – I love it!

Who pays for a broken phone?

Who pays for a broken phone?
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Q: My son was roughhousing near a pool with a friend who had left her phone near the edge. During their horseplay, the girl’s phone got kicked into the water and ruined, and her parents are asking me to pay for the replacement ($700!). If the kid left her phone at the edge of the pool, I don’t feel my son is responsible for it. Do I have to pay for this?  – Anonymous

A: Yes – but the misbehaviour by both kids contributed to the phone’s demise, so both should pay for it. Agree to pay $350, with a note explaining why, and then set up a repayment program with your son, who needs to learn the consequences of horseplay.

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Source: RD.com

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