70 secrets nurses wish they could tell you

Doctors are clueless about what really happens in the beds, wards, and halls of our hospitals. That’s why we went to the experts: nurses.

“We always question doctors because a lot of the time they are only there for five seconds and we have much more experience with patients.” – Registered nurse with 16 years’ experience

“We’re not going to tell you your doctor is incompetent, but if I say, ‘You have the right to a second opinion,’ that can be code for ‘I don’t like your doctor’ or ‘I don’t trust your doctor.’” – Linda Bell, registered nurse

“Feel free to tell us about your personal life, but know that we’re here for 12 hours with nothing to talk about. So the stuff you tell us will probably get repeated.” – Registered nurse

“I’m supposed to just use a wet washcloth to clean them. But if it’s a patient who’s been really nice and appreciative, I’ll go all the way to intensive care to get some of the heated wet wipes, which are a lot more gentle. Somebody who’s constantly yelling at me? I just use the washcloth.” – Registered nurse

“If penicillin made your face swell up and your breathing get funny six months ago, it’s likely to do the same again. Please tell me these things. While we’re at it, tell me if you have a food allergy. Some things I can predict, other things, like you’re allergic to nuts, are not immediately obvious.” – Head-nurse.blogspot.com Here’s how to get the most out of each and every medical appointment.

“I’ve had people blow out arteries in front of me, where I know the patient could bleed to death within minutes. I’ve had people with brains literally coming out of their head. No matter how worried I am, I’ll say calmly, ‘Hmmm, let me give the doctor a call and have him come look at that.’” – A long-time nurse

“If you want me to give you better treatment, be more appreciative. I’m happy to do a bit extra for appreciative patients, such as massage their legs and feet with sorbolene after a shower. But a demanding patient will always wait longer to have their bell answered.” – Registered nurse with 25 years’ experience, RPA, Sydney

“I’d never tell a patient that he was stupid for waiting a week for his stroke symptoms to improve before coming to the hospital. Although I’d like to. Especially if his wife then complains that we’re not doing anything for the guy.” – A long-time nurse who blogs at head-nurse.blogspot.com

“If you’re happily texting and laughing with your friends until the second you spot me walking into your room, I’m not going to believe that your pain is a ten out of ten.” – Nurse, New York Never tempt fate by lying about what’s really bothering you.

“If we tell you Papa must not drive after his stroke, that means Papa must not drive. Not ‘not drive long distances’ or ‘not drive a Toyota’ or ‘not drive to the store.’ It means that Papa now lacks decision-making ability, part of his visual field, and most of the use of one side of his body, and must not drive. Even a big car, even for short distances, even in town.” – Head-nurse.blogspot.com