Reader's Digest New Zealand Feb/ Mar 2026

Enrol at New Zealand’s Most Trusted Childcare. Find your local centre today! 2025 E a r l y C h i l d h o o d C e n t r e s r e t e s RYAN MCVAY/GETTY IMAGES idea to double-check your work. The people who composed the fol- lowing probably didn’t. ) Spotted on the wrap- per of a premade deli sandwich: “Roast Beef & Criminalized Onion Relish” ) From a tweet: “Don’t y’all hate when teachers use to coffin skate your phone” ) Sign held by driver at airport waiting for delegates attending a musculoskeletal confer- ence: “Welcome to Mos- quito Skeleton Society” ) Text: “I just hit my head really hard. I think I might have a caucasian.” ) Sign on store door: “Closed due to per- sonal circumcisions” —reddit.com My cousin Robert came home with a haircut he hated, lamenting, “I intended to get a $17 haircut and leave a $3 tip. Instead, I got a $3 haircut and left a $17 tip.” —Brian Seborg I had news I was anx- ious to share with my your funny story could be published here! Send your stories to letters@ readersdigest.com.au ) My 5-year-old grand- daughter politely asked her mother if she had to eat her roll at dinner. No,” said her mother, “if you don’t want to eat your roll, you don’t have to.” With that, my granddaughter removed the middle of the roll, shoved her green beans inside and threw the roll away. —James Randolph husband and couldn’t wait for him to come home from work. Finally I heard the key in the door, and in he walked. I pounced. “Do you want to know what I did today?” I practically shouted. My loving husband, knowing me quite well, answered, “Not in detail.” —Gloria Wright LITTLE GENIUSES ) I asked my son Teddy, 5, if he knew what the phrase “too little, too late” meant. He said, “It’s when you have short legs and can’t run so fast, so you end up late get- ting to places.” —Mark Ramirez ) The first time that my young grandson accompanied me to a Hobby Lobby store, he looked around in utter amazement. I could see his mind work- ing: What is this place? Then it dawned on him. “This,” he shouted, “is a Home Depot for nanas!” —Liz Hood readersdigest.co.nz 25 reader ’ s digest