Readers Digest NZ Dec/Jan 2025

Note to self: When noting that someone canceled a meeting due to a death in the family or funeral, don’t abbreviate it as “death/fun.” — @rygdance “They’re rounds,” she said. “Daddy makes rounds.” —Billie Holladay skelley Scene: Two teenage girls are buying coffee at my checkout. Teenager #1: Oh no, I have no money. Can you buy the My daughter’s preschool assignment was to draw a picture of a typical day at her dad’s workplace. In response, she drew a series of circles, which confused both her teacher and me since her dad is a doctor. When I asked about the meaning of her draw- ings, she looked surprised. “No, we don’t have it in pumpkin spice.” reader ’ s digest 34   december 2025/january 2026  |   readersdigest.co.nz cartoon by Bob Eckstein All in a Day’s WORK SILVIAJANSEN/GETTY IMAGES coffee for me? Teenager #2: You always do this! Teenager #1: I’ll pay you back! I swear on my life! Teenager #2: I’ve seen your life. Swear on something else. —notalwaysright.com As I wrote my Sunday sermon on the evils of gossip, I touched on the Book of Num- bers, Chapter 12, which mentions that Moses had a second wife. My own dear wife was nearby. So, feigning innocence, I asked, “Honey, would it be OK if I have two wives?” “Sure, honey,” she answered understand- ingly. “But I won’t be one of them.” —David Bogosian I was in our local home improvement store pur- chasing “mushroom manure”—a by-product of mushroom cultiva- tion that is used to amend garden soil. As the store clerk was placing the sacks in my truck, I asked, half in jest, “How do they get manure from mushrooms?” He grew quite serious and said, with a remarkably straight face, “You know, they’re very shy things, and they do it at night, so no one really knows.” —David W. Kitta GOT A FUNNY WORK STORY? Send it in and it might get published! For details, go to page 3 or Letters@ readersdigest.com.au AND SO WE SAY FAREWELL … Is a co-worker retiring? Send them off with a speech they’ll never forget, no mat- ter how hard they try. If you’re at a loss for words, How toWrite a Funny Speech (Chronicle Books) by humorists Carol Leifer and Rick Mitchell offers some one-liners you can poach.  ) She was old three hips ago.  ) She still calls movies “talkies.”  ) She went apple picking with Eve.  ) Her version of a Caesar salad was actually sharing a salad with Julius Caesar.  ) When she married her first husband, she said, “I doeth.”  ) Her first honeymoon was in Pangaea. All in a Day’s Work