Readers Digest NZ Dec/Jan 2025

TMB STUDIO Lisa told the man wait­ ing, “Watch out, this el­ evator keeps going up and down!” As the man got on, he shot right back, “Isn’t that what it’s supposed to do?” —Kim Steinmetz Last year I underwent major GI surgery. The procedure went well, but as a result, I now suffer from un­ controllable bouts of flatulence, often at inopportune times. My brother came up with the perfect solu­ tion for how I should handle these embar­ rassing moments. “Next time you pass gas in public,” he said, “grab your phone and pretend to answer it. your funny story about friends or family could get published here. See page 3 or email us at letters@readersdigest. com.au CAN I LEAVE NEGATIVE 100 STARS? Ad-libbing on a recipe may prove fatal ... to the dish. Here are comments left on online recipes by dissatisfied “chefs” who had gone rogue, along with replies from real chefs. After a short ‘conversation,’ hang up and say, ‘I really need to change my ringtone.’” —Cheri Morrill  ) On a recipe for London broil marinade Comment: We used Pepsi, so I’m not sure if that was why it was too sweet, but I think we will use regular soy sauce next time if I don’t have Coke. Reply: There isn’t any Coke or Pepsi in this recipe.  ) For simple syrup Comment: It sounds delicious but way too much sugar. Reply: It’s a simple syrup, hon. It’s literally sugar.  ) For pozole, a Mexican soup Comment: Recipe was easy to make but never ever put cloves in this recipe! That was a horrible taste! Reply: 3 cloves of GARLIC!  ) For strawberry ice cream Comment: This sounds delicious, but I lowered my rating [to 3 stars] because, like many others, I am allergic to strawberries. Reply: Sometimes we need to just ac- cept that something wasn’t made for us.  ) For sourdough starter Comment: This is bubbling and rising but tastes foul …my husband nearly vomited. Reply: Please don’t eat raw sourdough starter. It is intended to be baked with, not eaten as is. —reddit @#!!& readersdigest.co.nz     19 World of Good say, “The goose is on the other foot!” Other favorites: “You’re walking on thin eggs, buddy!” “We’ll have to pay an arm and a knuckle.” “The squeaky wheel gets the bacon.” “Don’t feed Peter to eat Paul.” And, of course, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him think.” —Patrick Doell My friends and I had a scare on a hotel eleva- tor. We got on at the 12th floor and pushed the button to go to the lobby. The elevator went down but then jolted back up a few floors, then down and back up, before finally settling on the lobby floor. As we staggered off, my frazzled friend The happy trick-or- treater at my door filled his basket with candy and gave me a huge “Thank you!” As he walked away, he turned around, still beaming, to say, “And I like your costume.” I might have felt complimented … had I been wearing one. —Michelle Gabriel I have a relative who loves idioms and prov- erbs. In fact, she im- proves upon them, albeit unwittingly. For example, instead of “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander” or “The shoe is on the other foot,” she’ll I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 yrs of housework in 30 minutes. — @traciebreaux reader ’ s digest 18   december 2025/january 2026 cartoon by Jon Carter LIFE