Customer Service Jokes

Book him

When I returned a recipe book to my local library, the librarian noticed there was water damage to the book and asked me to pay for it. I agreed, but as I wasn’t carrying any money, I said I would... read more

Quarter master

I ordered a foot-long roll from a sandwich bar in town for myself and my friends. There were four of us, so we decided one long roll would be cheaper than buying four individual ones.

... read more

Closed loop

My husband recently answered his work phone and heard someone start a familiar pitch about upgrading his computer software. A few seconds later the other office line rang and it was another cold... read more

A win's a win

We took our two teenage sons to a restaurant that was packed with fans watching a sporting event on TV. The harassed waitress took our order, but 30 minutes later there was no sign of our food. I... read more

Cringeworthy client requests

– The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it were a little more orange, like “blorange”.

– We would very much like it if you did the work for free, but if not, we can pay you $20... read more

Desk jockeys

The pressures of work can bring out the weirdness in people. Check out these real-life exchanges from

Boss: You make too many mistakes! You’re not very... read more


A teenager came into the clothing store where I work and browsed for over an hour before choosing the perfect dress for a party. But the next day she was back with the outfit.

“Can I... read more

Helping hang

We were making leaflets for a local church, and the client wanted a logo designed with Earth being shielded by the hand of God. I sent the client a proof. Shortly thereafter, I got a call.
... read more

Workin' nine to whatever

Recently, an elderly couple visited the interior design store where I work to request an estimate for reupholstering some furniture. They had no photos on hand, so I asked that they bring some... read more

Time to reflect

A friend of mine works at a tattoo parlour. A client walked in and got a sentence tattooed on his back. A few hours later the customer called, demanding a refund. “You did my tattoo backwards,” he... read more

Sit, beg, roll over, make change

I was driving home recently when I stopped on impulse at a roadside vegetable stand. It was deserted expect for a sleeping German shepherd. I stepped carefully over the dog, grabbed some veggies,... read more

Silver lining

After one glance at my updated driver’s licence photo, I said the first thing that came to mind: “Ugghhh!”

“What’s wrong?” asked the clerk behind the counter.

“I look... read more


I recently visited a local restaurant for a spot of lunch. I ordered a ham salad, and the waiter soon arrived with my meal.

“Do you know what kind of cheese this is?” I asked him,... read more

The customer is always half right

I was really pleased with my purchase of a new pair of shoes from a major retailer. About a week later, on a rainy day, I was in a rush and quickly grabbed my shoes from the rack and made my way... read more

Knock knock

When I worked in the post office, a lady barged in and started complaining that she’d got home to find a note from the postman – he’d tried to deliver a package but nobody was in.

“My... read more