My funniest childhood memory is...

When I rode my bike downhill and slammed into an ice cream cart. I went home completely covered in chocolate, strawberry and caramel ice cream.

En-route to a fancy-dress party my dad stopped to assist at an accident, dressed as the sugar-plum fairy: pink tutu, hairy chest and all!

Building a tree house and then having dad inspect it. The whole house came tumbling down with dad inside. Thank god, he wasn't hurt.

Watching my little sister 'grab a leg ride' thinking it was dad walking down the street. It was a complete stranger she'd latched on to.

The blackout at my 8th birthday. The dog ate half of the cake and candles, dad smacked the dog, and it peed all over dad. I bawled, my brother laughed.

My funniest childhood memory is when I lost a my two front teeth and planted them in a pot, thinking false teeth come from teeth-bearing plants.