Confidence Boost

For my 40th birthday, I got a card from my sister-in-law Tammy that read: “In thanks for all your support this year, some support in return.” Attached was a gift certificate for a lingerie shop renowned for its professional bra fittings. Her own recent fitting had been a revelation to her, and she wanted to share it. She even offered to go with me. Ultimately, I decided to go alone, feeling too embarrassed to have a witness.

I’m self-conscious about certain things. While I have no problem delivering a speech to a roomful of people, I can’t even say the word “bra” out loud. I guess it all started back in high school, when I got my first bra in a sealed package. I have no idea what size it was; I just opened it up and hoped for the best.

In the years since, my buying method had changed very little. I’d skulk about, avoiding the helpful salespeople, zero in on whatever was on sale, grab what I thought was my size, pay and leave. I never tried them on; I simply hoped they’d be the perfect fit. I’d struggle with adjustments – the shoulder straps always seemed to bunch or gap, and the bra would ride up my back. I just thought that was the way bras were: a hassle. I also assumed that it was normal for the underwire to twist and poke into me after a few rounds in the washer and dryer.

Beyond that, I’d always felt insecure about the way my tops fit, even though I’m of average build and height. While some of my friends were wearing cute tank tops, I wore layers of baggy clothing to cover up. I also developed a bad habit of slouching to avoid drawing attention to myself.