While filling up at a gas station, I accidentally spilled gasoline on my shirt. When I went inside to pay, I noticed a woman crinkling her nose. Embarrassed, I tried to put her mind at ease. "If you smell gas," I said, "it's me." --Joseph Bozulich

Our friend tells everyone that he began losing his hair while serving in Vietnam. His granddaughter incorporated that information into her grade school history report on the war. She wrote, "My Grandpa went to Vietnam and got his hair shot off." --Darlene Keranen

Experience is a great teacher, especially if it’s someone else who’s learning from his mistakes. These examples were sent to learnfrommyfail.failblog.org: "When holding a DVD in one hand and food in the other, remember which hand has what when you take a bite." "When running errands where one stop involves going to a bank and one involves dropping off a firearm, drop off the firearm first." "If you’re prone to impulse purchases, stick to shoes, not tattoos." "When attending a funeral, never clap after the eulogy, regardless of how meaningful and heartfelt it was."

One morning a customer entered my flower shop and ordered a bouquet for his wife. "No card is necessary," he instructed us. "She'll know who sent them."The delivery truck hadn't even returned to the store when the phone rang. It was the customer's wife. "Who sent the flowers?" she asked. After explaining that the customer had requested that no card be included, I considered the matter closed—but not so. A bit later, she came rushing in the front door. "You've got to tell me who sent the flowers," she demanded, "before my husband gets home."    --Linda O. Couch

In honor of my brother's retirement from the police force, my sister-in-law decided to throw a surprise party for him. Plans made in secrecy over a two-month period included catering and entertainment decisions as well as travel accommodations for over 100 friends and relatives from around the country. At the party, my brother stood up to address his guests. As he looked around the room at everyone who had secretly gathered on his behalf, he shook his head and said, "After 25 years on the police force, I finally know why I never made detective." --Lawrence Wright

As my five-year-old son and I were heading to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for whoever might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest voice: "Dear God, please don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's." --Sherri Leard

The subject line on the e-mail sent by our campus ministry after Easter read "He is risen!" But the next day, we received a rather startling message intended to clear up a minor typo in the first e-mail. The subject line now read "He is risen—correction." --Seth Breunig