With the backyard becoming smaller and spaces for tinkering, including the shed and garage, being moved to make way for family orientated outdoor living spaces, blokes are looking for another form of sanctuary and a place to call their own.

Whether it’s in the study, spare room or garage, more guys are creating a refuge from the world with a place to stash sporting memorabilia, music collections, gym equipment or ratty furniture from bachelor days.

Others create elaborate game dens for entertaining mates or a dedicated area for tools and DIY.

Actor Brad Pitt hangs out with fellow dad Matt Damon in his hideaway that reportedly cost $200,000. It’s kitted out with a vintage Wurlitzer jukebox, flatscreen TVs, motorbikes and a refrigerated beer keg.

Johnny Depp’s urban retreat is said to have guitars and bottles of wine from his vineyard in France, and Nicolas Cage uses his cave to store his collection of rare Superman comics.

The New Shed
It’s a world away from the old garden shed where Grandad would escape with a beer, but the man cave isn’t a new phenomenon, according to Peter McAllister, author of Manthropology (Hachette, $35).

‘The man cave answers an evolutionary need. If you look back at hunter-gatherer society a common feature is a place denied to women where men could gather. Our species is one of the few to be male bonded. We have a need to hang together and do male things such as standing around a car bonnet or watching sport on TV.’

It's In The Biology
Any woman grappling with a guy who loves his man cave knows of his temptation to hide out there when times get tough.

‘If men are spending all their time in their cave and not doing the washing up or never seeing the family, they’re abusing it,’ says Peter.

‘But it’s wise to build a bit of cave time into family life and you’d hope the relationship would be richer for it. Spending time in the man cave isn’t a renunciation of the relationship.’

A male retreat makes sense when you consider studies showing how differently men and women handle stress, adds psychologist Jacqui Manning from Mind Advantage (www.mindadvantage.com.au).

‘When a woman talks about what’s bothering her it stimulates the release of the feel-good hormone oxytocin. For men, wind-down time replenishes testosterone levels and helps them feel good.’

So while she wants to talk about her day he just wants to escape. The key is to strike a balance, says Jacqui.

‘Negotiate so you can follow your own biological patterns while making agreements about housework and spending quality time together.’

Happily Ever After
Sandra, a lawyer, is more than happy that her partner Lincoln, a draftsman, has his cave to spend time in.
SHE SAYS ‘Lincoln is a fantastic dad to our three-year-old son Jacob and he takes on a lot of traditionally female jobs around the house, letting me work a demanding full-time job.

‘Often at the end of a difficult day and on weekends he escapes to his cave in the garage where he keeps two V8 cars and a mountain of tools.

‘I think cave time is great for him. It gives him space, a chance to relax and unwind and a break from being a dad and househusband.

‘All men need a retreat and women should encourage it rather than feel like their spouse uses it to get away from them.’
HE SAYS ‘My cave is in a five-car garage with a section at one end where I have a workbench and all sorts of tools. My current project is creating a little gantry crane.

‘At the moment I don’t have a lot of spare time to tinker there, probably only a couple of hours on the weekend. I like being able to go into my shed and produce something. But if I had a choice I’d want my garage and tools over a games room with a pool table.’